Please check regularly as this section is updated and changed.

 "When A Loved One Has An Addiction"

January 14, 2009



When a loved one has an addiction

If someone you love has a problem with addiction, your top priority is to take care of yourself before you can take care of anybody else. Think about the instructions you get on an airplane: “If the cabin pressure drops, secure your own oxygen mask first, then help others with theirs.” That philosophy applies here, too.

You can turn to support groups like Al-Anon (an AA spin-off for the family and friends of alcoholics) or Alateen (an offshoot of Al-Anon geared toward teenagers and preteens who are affected by the drinking of a parent or other close relative) for help. These groups are free and open to the public, and they have frequent meetings in most towns (see the Al-Anon/Alateen Web site for more information).

These fellowship groups can help you better understand your loved one’s problem with addiction. In particular, you can learn you aren’t responsible for it and that you can’t force him or her to stop. These groups also can teach you effective ways to cope as your friend or family member faces the consequences of addiction and, if all goes well, finds his or her way to recovery.

Some groups advocate “tough love”—confronting people with addiction and trying to force them to seek help, while others recommend the exact opposite approach. For example, the CRAFT (Community Reinforcement Approach and Family Training) intervention encourages family members to avoid confrontation and instead use encouragement and other positive motivational strategies when trying to convince a loved one to seek help for addiction.

You also may want to seek advice and support from a therapist, clergy member, doctor, or social worker who is knowledgeable about addiction.

What is an intervention: How do you help a loved one who refuses help?

In an intervention, family and close friends gather with the person with addiction to discuss the issue. Historically, clinicians advocated a rather draconian approach to interventions, instructing those holding the intervention to begin by asking the identified patient to be quiet and simply listen. In this approach, the affected person had no say in the discussion, and was often given an ultimatum.

Many clinicians now favor a more interactive approach to interventions, where the person with addiction can voice concerns without fear of reproach. Contemporary intervention approaches use various devices to gain the interest of the person with addiction so that the family doesn’t have to cut ties or support.

Interventions, whether traditional or contemporary, share some common elements. At the outset, the affected person’s family and loved ones recount how the problem with addiction has affected each of them. By confronting the loved one with the consequences of the addiction, both objective and subjective, an intervention might penetrate the person’s denial and help him or her decide to seek treatment.

Don’t do this on your own

Because an intervention is a complicated and delicate process, friends and family members should not try it on their own. Seek the help of a professional — such as a doctor, therapist, or member of the clergy — who has experience with the process.

Timing is crucial. It’s best to set up an intervention shortly after an addiction-related problem has occurred and to investigate treatment options in advance.

Bear in mind that interventions can be painful and do not always work. In fact, interventions can backfire, because they can make people with addiction feel alienated from his or her support system. This can further distance them from the help they need. For these reasons, interventions should be considered only as a last resort in response to a desperate situation.

How you can help

If someone you love has a problem with addiction, there are some things you can do to help:

Speak up. Express your concerns about your loved one’s problem in a caring way.
Take care of yourself. Seek out the people and resources that can support you. Keep in mind that you are not alone, and try to remain hopeful. Practical help is available in your community.
Don’t make excuses. Don’t make it easier for your loved one to use his or her object of addiction by lying to protect him or her from the consequences of that use.
Don’t blame yourself. Remember that you aren’t to blame for this problem and you can’t control it. Allow the person with the problem to take responsibility.
Be safe. Don’t put yourself in dangerous situations. Find a friend you can call for assistance.
Step back. Don’t argue, lecture, accuse, or threaten. Try to remain neutral.
Be positive. Remember that addiction is treatable. You may want to learn about what kinds of treatment are available and discuss these options with your loved one.
Take action. Consider staging a family meeting or an intervention.
Focus your energies. Encourage your friend or family member to get help, but try not to push. Remember that the only person you can change is yourself. Don’t hesitate to use available resources to help yourself.

Hypnosis for Better Golf?

In A Zone:
Psychologist Smith suggests in book that visualizing positive can change your game.

Daily News - 2004 September
by Bob Buttitta, Staff Writer

Legendary golfer Ben Hogan used to say when he was playing at his best he could often see his next shot completed before he ever started the club moving forward.

Golf psychologist Al Smith said what Hogan was describing is a simple case of self-hypnosis and visualization.

"When athletes talk about being in a zone, often what is happening is a form of self-hypnosis," said Smith, who taught golf at Sunset Hills Country Club and Saticoy Regional Golf Course in the early 1970s.

"When you get in a 'zone' as an athlete, it's really about eliminating the negative thoughts and visualizing the positive."

To help athletes and even non-athletes reach a state where they can control their mind and reach peak performances, Smith has written a book titled "The Winning Zone."

Smith said the book, which is published by 1st Books Library, explains in simple language how the conscious and subconscious work and how they can be trained to allow a person to accomplish anything from quitting smoking to lowering his or her golf score.

"When our subconscious sends a message to our muscles, it travels 10 times faster than a message coming from our conscious mind," said Smith, a longtime Ventura resident.

"For an athlete, the zone is a mental state where our subconscious takes control of an activity. In that state, the ego and the conscious mind are prevented from interfering, so there are no conscious pressures sabotaging a person's success."

Most golfers have had a time when they are playing well above "normal," hitting great shot after great shot.

When the golfer starts to think about how well he or she is playing, that is the point where the conscious starts to interfere and often sabotage the player's game.

"When you start to think, your muscles tighten and you can't perform as well," Smith said. "The goal is to take the conscious mind out of the task and let the subliminal take over."

Smith, 70, has worked with athletes of all skill levels to perform better through mastery of their mind.

It started with his students at Sunset Hills, and through work of mouth, other athletes, including professional golfer Al Geiberger, started coming to Smith for help with the mental part of their sport.

He eventually started writing a regular sports psychology column for Golf illustrated magazine.

While today's athletes are happy to talk about the work they do with sports psychologists, when Smith started working with athletes most wanted it kept secret.

"At that time, people didn't openly talk about going to a psychologist," Smith said. "Most of the athletes I worked with didn't want anyone to know they were coming to me for help."

Geiberger was an exception, and the two men eventually created and produced a golf video called, "Subliminal Golf."

On the tape, Geiberger and Smith went over drills that Smith had used to help Geiberger relax on the course and focus on the task he was trying to accomplish.

They also discussed visualization, something that Smith feels can help any person achieve desired goals.

Smith said the subconscious is unable to differentiate between something that is real and what is imagined.

The more vivid the imagination, the more real the subconscious thinks the picture is.

Smith is convinced if an athlete spends enough time visualizing success on the field, and if he or she really makes the thought as vivid as possible, eventually the subconscious will believe it is reality and allow the body to perform the skill.

Smith's youngest son Stephen was a bowler with a 120 average. Smith sat his son down and made him watch hours of videotape of top bowler Marshall Holman.

He had his son focus on Homan's delivery and had him visualize making the same approach and motion when he bowled.

"A week and a half later, Stephen was bowling in the 185 range," Smith said. "I had so many people tell me bow much they thought he looked like Marshall Holman.

"At the Ventura County Junior Golf Championships, I had my son Al Jr. sit and look at the championship plaque, imagining his name on the plaque as the winner. He won the tournament."

Smith said the key to visualization is getting as many senses involved as possible. He said a golfer should not stop at thinking abut making a putt. He should imagine the sound of the ball striking the putter, rolling along the grass and falling in the cup.

"The more real the visualization and the more the subconscious believes," Smith said.

Smith, who still works with athletes on a limited basis, said most people can use self-hypnosis and visualization to improve their lives.

"If you really believe in the ultimate outcome, there's a great chance for success," Smith said."

Dieters Turning to Hypnosis to Shed Extra Pounds

AOL News - 2005 September 4
by Candice Choi, AP

Imagine a world where chocolate cake holds no temptation, where celery is an indulgence and food cravings float away in a balloon. Now open your eyes to the trancelike world of Americans who are turning to hypnosis to drop extra poundage.

In a nation where two thirds of the population is overweight or obese, some dieters are hoping hypnosis will finally break food's spell over them.

It's working for Cynthia Lewis, a San Diego resident who is no longer tempted to polish off a plate of cookies when she smells them baking.

"Now just smelling (the cookies) is enough," she said.

Despite its hokey, magic-show aura, hypnosis is used as an alternative treatment in medical institutions to manage everything from pain to smoking to weight loss.

And as waistlines continue to bulge, hypnotherapists say they're seeing more patients desperate for a way to control their eating.

"The country is getting fatter and fatter, so different weight-loss methods are getting more attention," said Jean Fain, a psychologist who uses hypnosis at Harvard Medical School's Cambridge Hospital.

In the past five years, Fain said, the number of patients she treats for weight loss has doubled. For many of those patients, hypnosis is a last resort.

That was the case for Lewis, who grew tired of dropping and gaining the same 30 pounds on various liquid diets.

Three months ago, she began seeing Brian Alman, who teaches self-hypnosis for Kaiser Permanente, the Oakland, Calif.-based health insurer. So far, Lewis said the therapy has helped her change her lifestyle.

Generally, the hypnotic state is defined as a state of focused concentration - a condition akin to being so absorbed in a good book that the outside world seems to fade away, said Guy Montgomery, president of the Society of Psychological Hypnosis, a division of American Psychological Association.

It's during this state that patients become more open to suggestion.

For a stress eater, Montgomery might tell patients to picture themselves in a relaxing place whenever they feel the impulse to overeat.

Whether hypnosis will bring results varies form person to person as in any other treatment Montgomery said. "We don't view (hypnosis) as a stand-alone therapy, but as an additional technique," he said.

Kevin Brownell, director of the Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity at Yale, said it's probably the range of therapies that aids weight loss, not the hypnosis alone.

"The prevailing thought is that there's really not much to hypnosis for weight loss on its own" Brownell said. But people become so frustrated trying to lose weight that they give anything a try - especially something that seems as simple as hypnosis, he said.

But for those who dreamed hypnosis might be the long-awaited magic weight-loss bullet, practitioners and patients alike caution that it's not that easy.

Patients often come to Fain hoping she'll snap her fingers and nock out their impulse to overeat. In fact, she said it can take months - sometimes years - to help patients get a handle on underlying causes of their overeating.

For Lee Hubbard of Orange County, Calif., who learned how to go into a hypnotic state through Alman's tapes, hypnosis came easily.

Now whenever she feels like overeating, she takes a deep breath instead of reaching for the bowl of Hershey's Kisses. She closes her eyes for a moment and pictures herself walking toward the candy bowl. As she is about to grab a fistful, she instead pictures herself walking right past the bowl.

Hubbard remains fully awake - she is simply calmer, focused and more relaxed.

"It's like a movie screen where you observe yourself in the situation. It lets you control the arena of your thought," she said.

Hypnotherapy For Smoking Cessation Sees Strong Results

Applied Sport Psychology Article: Using Hypnosis in Athletic Performance by Dr. Jack Singer